TIME TO BLOG

Remember the song TURN TURN TURN?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn4

Everything in its turn, in its time. When the lyrics were put to music perhaps in the 60’s, where was the internet, or lap tops or BLOGS, for that matter. (extraordinary lyrics from Kohellet/Ecclsiastes 3)

Well it is now my turn, my time to Blog. Yes, life is unwinding, for me personally, as it should. No, I don’t think the world is unwinding as it should, but that is not what this blog is about. IT IS ALL ABOUT ME, ME, ME!

By the time I got home from Israel in May, my granddaughter let it be known that she would not play second fiddle to anyone. If her cousin did it, so would she. Well, luckily, she did meet this lovely guy, I met him on several occasions, but she waited for me to get home to Montreal, to announce her engagement. Is this a pattern? My children don’t want me at the engagement party? Now it is 2 such events out of 2. Do they worry that I may put a damper on the engagement? I shall have to do some soul searching – or not.

Summer followed, and my daughter-in-law & 4 wonderful grand kids came to visit. Week-days with her parents in suburbia, and weekends with me in town. We patted each other on the back, more than once, because our relationship was working, even in the absence of Avi,the link. The link was here for the last week only. 4 little kids under the age of 6, first I must say they are adorable, but it is a handful.

Moving right along, I arrived in the Israel 3 weeks ago so I would be over the jet lag in time for the wedding. I am still not over jet lag. How long does it take?

I knew it would be a beautiful wedding. I knew they’d be a beautiful lively couple. I did not know he was a choreographer – by night. What other talents is he hiding? Someone said the venue was California-like, and Hawaii was also suggested. Pick your state – it was special. And it was Israel! You need to be pretty sure that weather will cooperate. They were lucky – you can get rain here in October.

The highlight for me is always the participants. The family and friends who make a special effort to be there with you, and by now, I feel close to many of the kids’ friends, as well.

The siblings and I gave Sheva Brachot, the next night. There I enjoyed the immediate family, and just a couple of special friends. It was the first chance to get to know the new in-laws. Communicating in French was a little difficult, but, by the time we had spent the weekend together the awkwardness fell by the wayside.

Yes, I am surely very enthused about all this, but it certainly isn’t a particularly interesting read.

‘nuff said, until next time!

(I wanted to fiddle with the fonts and formatting but I just cant figure it out now. So I'm posting Bye!)

A Lesson Learned

Whilst in Jerusalem, I was privileged to attend an hazkarah for my friend Anita.

Just a year ago she succumbed to her illness; she was much too young; she was just beginning to enjoy the wonders of an extended family, which was now including her ‘new’ daughters (in-law) and loving granchildren.

I write this because I was so moved by everyone’s recollections of this extraordinary lady. In a truly quiet and modest way she touched so many. In her professional life, I understand she was remarkable, but I came to know her as a caring friend.

I learned from Anita, and this was reinforced at the hazkarah: No matter how great your personal burden, there is always the capacity to give. I was on the receiving end. At the time when Anita was already in poor health, when she could, easily, have thought only of herself, she gave. She visited me in hospital and at home. She called and she emailed.

I have blogged before about the incredible support I received in my time of need. Now as I think back to those dark days, I remember the joy I felt with each gesture of support and friendship. At the time, several friends, including Anita, had their own troubles, and their gifts of support took on extra meaning.

I, therefore, resolve to do better; to call; to visit; to email and to support, even when it may be difficult - IY”H. I hope I have the ability to do this.

GGM

My blog seems to be taking on the characteristics of recording life cycle events. Yes, I have reached the next stage. Last year you read about the engagement and the wedding, now it is a birth - my first great grandchild. A baby boy, born in Toronto of April 9. The very same day his grandfather put in his appearance, 40++ years ago.

I remember it well, but in that year, I had just put away the very last remnant of the Pesach set up. I had procrastinated a few days, but on that Thursday I decided, it had to be done. Sure enough, that night my first son (second child) put in his appearance.

Like his grandfather, this new baby has shown early intelligence. He understood that it would be better to show up early, a few days would be OK, than to push his way into this world on Erev Pesach or during a Seder. My mother, also a spring baby – we were told that she waited, and was born after all the Pesach preparations were ready, just before the Seder, or was it just after? This goes to show, that whenever a new baby is born, before, during, or after, you can spin the event into what it really is: A true blessing! A joyous event!

I have been blessed twice in these last few weeks. Savta13 should have been been rebranded as Savta 15. (But you cant just foist a new brand on your adoring public – imagine if Coca Cola decided to become “‘Delishy’ Drinky” – but I digress!)

My 14^th grand child, a boy, arrived in Jan 2009 and now I am at 15. It is Avi, my youngest, who has added these last two to my line up. Born in Israel, Hallel Ziona, number fifteen, came onto the scene just 4 weeks ago. But Savta 13 it will remain.

I am blessed!

A wonderful family festival is upon us, so look around the table and make mental notes of all your blessings. Put it in your memory bank to draw on, in stressful times. Chag Kascher veSameach to all friends & family. Very Happy Holiday to all.

Let’s blog

Those of you who are polite and respectful are asking when I will be writing again. Thought I’d do it before now, but seems I have been so wrapped in myself, and just d i d n ’ t . . . . . . . w a n t . . . . . . . .t o. . . . . . . s h a r e. . . . . . . . . ANYTHING!

Sooner or later you come to realize that this may well be cathartic, almost like paying a therapist $100.- an hour, and just keeping the money for myself. So I guess I owe myself a couple of hours of therapy, so here goes.

There was the wedding in March, dear Ita married her intended, a really sweet guy, Aaron. It was hard keeping up with them during those first 6 months. He was finishing somethin’ or another, and so was she. There was a rapid run to live in NY for a couple of months, back to Toronto. Now I know clearly where they are: right here in Jerusalem, a local call from where I am.

Summer was quiet, except for the double whammy from the Avi household. ALIYAH. Carrie stunned me in the spring when she did the ‘virage’ (look it up, it’s French), actually more than that, a complete U turn: NO I absolutely wouldn’t think of Aliyah. . . . . . . and then last winter it turned into definitive thinking: YES I want to live in Israel; and then ACTION. WOW! They are in Israel. Surely, this has to qualify for a double whammy.

Going back to the Chagim, I got this email from Emanuel:

“I had an amazing Yom Kippur w Arye and Leora . . . . . yeshivat hesder Otniel . . . . . . . . not far from Hevron . . . . known to have beautiful davening. . . . . . . The place is rockin . . . . dancing wild in the aisles from kol nidrei until the end which by the way is long, since in the morning it starts at 6:15 am . . . . no break and they finish on time but dance for another half hour . Kind of neo hippie-hasidic type of place; lots of fun; very different Yom Kippur experience. . . . .

Highlight . . . . my nephew, Yedidiya . . . . . . a soldier, came in a few times when he had breaks from patrols to catch a bit of davening . . . his base is Otniel. At the end, after a full day of patrols he comes in on a short break to catch shofar in his full military gear and all 500 kids are singing and dancing l’shana haba beyerushalim and I see my nephew there in his gear –it was a very emotional moment.

You can be proud of him –he did not eat just drank and any free moment was trying to be in shul although he was doing God’s work the whole day in any event.
(BTW,he looks mean in his full gear)”

Emanuel - please excuse my editing.

I was emotional reading this extraordinary description of Emanuel’s experience, and even more so as he described MY grandson, Yedidya, and his remarkable devotion to G-d and country.

I am beginning to understand that blogging is more like writing a diary. Well I never did that in my tween/teen years, so why would now be any different? Since 'blogging' is such a contemporary, still evolving concept, I don't have to accept Webster's definition, and can simply define it to my convenience, right? Blogging: verb - writing when moved or inspired to do so.

Well, I have, again, been touched by my muse, and am compelled to blog again. More accurately, I was touched by a young couple, Ita and Aaron, who went under the Chupah this past Sunday, each escorted separately as singles, and as individuals. After much ceremony and blessing; speaking and singing, they emerged as a married couple: Mr. & Mrs.

That is when the dancing and singing really began.

This was my granddaughter's wedding, Last time I blogged it was her engagement, and now I can tell you about the wedding. It was a wonderful experience. They made a lovely couple, Ita tall and gracious, very pretty; Aaron also tall, handsome and always smiling. I have gotten to know Aaron just a little bit, since first meeting him in January, and I must say, Aaron: I like you.

More about the wedding party. My daughter-in-law looked amazing. Ita's sister was a stunner, in her elegant gown, and hair styled beautifully in a 'half up do' (don't ask, I don't quite get that either). Otherwise, parents, siblings were all dressed to the 'nines', with special mention of the grandmothers, we all put our best foot forward, and looked spectacular - OK, not me, someone else would have to comment on how I looked.

The ballroom was all dressed up, too. I have used up all my superlatives, so not wanting to be repetitive (it is bad form, after all) please, use your imagination. It is a very large hall that shows well, when all done up. The chairs were dressed in 'gowns and bows' and each table had a tall centered standard, low candles, and so on and so forth. There was much white tulle draped about, and many magnificent flower arrangements. Anyone who knows me, will understand that I don't do well in remembering this kind of thing, so I am very proud that I noticed as much as I did. I remembered to focus and make mental notes, I could tell the world; well, at least, those people who read my blog.

And the partying, which started with the bride on the Shabbat before, continues. We are enjoying a week of Sheva Brachot, each one given by varying groups of freinds and family. Monday night 3 of my kids hosted a lovely supper. It like the Shabbat before, was, of course, more relaxed than the wedding, so it was a different kind of enjoyment.

For me, the special pleasure was to have all my kids and their kids together for a lovely long week-end - extraordinary & special.

I think you get the idea. I had a grand time, and am ready for the next.

Wishing all, at this time, a Chag Kasher veSameach

Feelings

It is too soon to be blogging again, but the predictably, unpredictable happened and the itch to blog - - - - well it followed. The happening is the engagement of my first grandchild, Ita.

It is kinda like being kicked up a generation, but not quite;
it is kinda like being rattled into maturity, but not quite;
it is kinda like being violently shaken awake and realizing this is old age, but not quite.

Yes, I am now in a new category, not quite another generation. Maturity? Well I don't really believe in that. If you've read this blog, you know a bit of how I feel about maturity. As for old age - sure I feel some of the 'infirmities of old age'*, some 'weakening of . . . parts'*, much 'slowing of energies'*, but not too much dulling of this 'aggressive mind'*.

Well, what is it really like?

It is a warm glow enveloping me, with an underlying sizzle of excitement. I dont quite know where to put myself. The facts on the ground say I am 'there' ('there' being some advanced stage in life) but I just dont feel it, or I refuse to acknowledge it.

Ita, your new status hasnt changed me, except - I can say it all, pretty much, in just one word: HAPPY!!! - I am happy!!! Your happiness, Ita, is infectious; it vibrates all the way over here in Israel.

Aaron, you must be special. What I hear about you, all sounds just so right. I am glad you found each other, and that you recognized the qualities in each other to make this momentous and joyous decision.

For your comments on yesterdays blog. I am onw looking at the 'allow comments' option, and as I said I welcome your comments

Where is Home? What is Home

Time to go blogging again. This suits me just fine, about 2X a year. Yes I am in Israel - came for 2 months this time. I cut a month off my usual stay, because I'm just a bit concerned about living life so far from 'home'.

"HOME" is such a complex concept. I know I should feel that this is my home. Would that it were so. I think I felt a bit more comfortable here before this last round of illness, but maybe not. The unusually hot weather, we were experiencing, reinforces my intolerance of the heat. Too often, I am the only one in the room who wants the air conditioning. What's wrong with all of them? Why aren't they hot?

The best thing about this country is the people. I do love them.

• Perhaps it takes a particular type of person to prosper here, and it is that type that I am drawn to
• Perhaps it is because so many of the people I meet are far from their families, and they compensate by building really warm strong relationships within their communities here, and I enjoy that warmth and inclusion.
• Perhaps it is my old theory: those who make Aliya are the creme de la creme of the Jewish community, wherever they come from: New York, Chicago, Montreal Melbourne, Johannesbourg, London or Antwerp. They are well educated, accomplished adults, who have brought all of that and their ambitions, entrepreneurial skills and ability to work hard to a country that want and nurtures those talents.

More than any of these qualities they have a devotion to family and community, and it is that devotion that drives them. Many of them had it really good, wherever they came from, but a certain spirituality was lacking (a certain 'je ne sais quoi'), and it seems that Israel has filled that void.

Perhaps I just want more people like that in my life.

And yet I really want whatever it is that I have in Montreal. I can't give it definition, and it certainly isnt rational, but so it is.

This rant certainly hasn't helped me define home, but now that I have shared all this with you, perhaps you'll have some interesting input.

I'm Back and Better Than Ever, Maybe!

It has been more than a year, since my last blog entry. I have a good excuse for most of that time. The trauma started in May, climaxed in August, when 3 female surgeons sliced and diced me for too many hours and pretty much removed all redundant organs from the waist down.

The WISE MEN - yes after the messy stuff, the guys took over - prescribed a dastardly melange of medications, to fix what they could not excise. And here I am today, after all of that and feeling pretty good.

I made it to Israel in the midst of these treatments, where I was hooked up with the local drug dealer who administered a course of the prescribed treatment. It was interesting to compare, and the facilities in Israel were very much on a par with the state of the art Facility here at the JGH.

I was happy to be with family there, but going wasnt the best decision of my life.

This is my second go around with serious illness and extensive treatment at the JGH, and I have to praise the facility. Every aspect of my care was excellent. Whilst at it I must also mention my dear children, and the care and caring they showed me. I am also so lucky to have the best friends - you know who you are. You were there for me, in person, on the phone, and by email. WOW! I am much blessed.

Yes, I lost my hair, and am now watching it grow back slowly, very slowly. You've heard of watching grass grow, well I am watcing hair grow. Same thing. Except for the colour. I am fantasizing about having thick wavy hair, but i dont think it will come to pass

So now I am enjoying some simple down time. I just need to relax and recover at my own slow pace. There is quite a lot of recovery, and it is happening, but I am not pressuring myself to get on a plane to go anywhere. I look forward to driving to Toronto for Pesach.

I write all of this from a very good place: Optimistic and Upbeat. Here, again I am blessed that 'Optimistic and Upbeat' are in my DNA. I have said all along that I am doing the very best I can, and I will continue to do so. I will not accept anything less of myself.

Good wishes to all of you, and is it too early to wish you all a Chag Kascher veSameach?

Sleepless in .........well its not Seattle

. . . . . . . I am not Meg Ryan, and Tom Hanks isnt around.  

What will happen in the morning when 8 o'clock comes and goes, and I still cant crawl out of bed. Sleep is just not meant to be tonight. Am I turning into u no hoo. Sorry only my nearest and dearest will get that  one. 

This is Israel, and I have been here almost a month.  The Emunah Convention came and went.  Perhaps I should have participated in more of it, but I  just  didnt have the stamina.  I must say that those parts I did go to, were really well done and very interesting.  The stand out speakers were Rav Lau, and Rav Benny Lau; Gil Troy never disappoints.  He has such passion for this country. 

It is interesting to me to note how some of the Israel Emunah ladies have evolved in their positions.  Given the opportunity to lead some certainly grew into leadership roles.

Eva and Jane were great company for as long as that lasted, but now I have to get down to the business of serious living.  Got to find a satisfying routine.  

Of course, now it is Chanukah, and again a week's delay in settling into real life.   But one thing I can do tomorrow morning is get up and get out.  My trajectory is straight up the hill for the 20 minute walk to a good cup o' coffee and 20 minutes back.  That is not a bad beginning for this sedentary soul.  We'll see what new excuse tomorrow will bring.  

Respect or the lack of it

A few weeks ago I knew what my next blog entry would be about. At the time, I was just coming home from Toronto and "respect" seemed like a burning issue. And when I say "respect" please read "the lack of it". Rodney Dangerfield built a career on the concept titling his autobiography (in part): A Lifetime of No Respect

I am that mother who thought her kids' friends should call me Mrs., (now, of course, it is Ms.) much to the dismay and embarrassment of some of my kids. This says something about me, doesn't it?

Well it doesnt seem to translate in my day to day existence. Should I spell it out? I am invariably left to introduce myself to my children's friends & guilted into doing so by first name.

I have virtually confessed my age in this blog, so am I not entitled to slow down the pace of my life, without being "damned" as a 95 year old? My baby - OK he's 37 and certainly no baby - is constantly on my case: but Ma you're not 95. Well, what if I figure I have earned the right to act 95 at one time and act 45 or even16 at another time. Surely I have earned that right.

Behaving the appropriate grandmotherly type, is such a drain; so stressful, and definitely no fun. I insist on my right to be cool, play Nintendo; shut the world out with MY IPod; yes and even have a blog of my own. All of this and respect PLEASE.

And it is also my right (truth, be told this comes with the territory and has nothing to do with rights) to forget:

• your name moments after we are introduced;
• 3 of the 4 items on your shopping list (and the shopping list itself)
• that I ALREADY called you back
  

Yes the list goes on and on. Perhaps the right I demand is to be forgiven and not mocked for these frequent 'faux pas', and indeed respect thru it all.

I assert here and now that my behaviour shall in no way impact on the respect due me, as a mother, grandmother, aunt, older cousin or your friend's parent.

Written with love and respect and love (I know I said 'love' 2X)

Shana Tova

To my dear friends, family, and Rachel. Sorry but for more than a week I've had both hands tied behind my back. In '07, that is what happens when you experience computer meltdown (well, maybe not you, but definitely me). Now I only have one hand in restraints, that is because.........Mazal Tov........ I have pristine new white Mac. It is beautiful, but I have no idea how to use it.

Can anyone out there recommend a "dummies" type book that would help me out with the basics?

I have been obsessing about my computer for some weeks now. I certainly didn't realize the extent to which I have been using the laptop as a virtual kitchen accessory. It is an indispensable aid to reading the newspaper. I constantly look up definitions, as I am reading, or jump into Google to locate some piece of info that I need to corroborate or complement what I am reading; not to mention the constant cooking support, but I have already told you about that.

It had been my intention to write, before Rosh Hashana and address this to the bulk of my contact list. Well I am often late, in such things, but it is never too late for good wishes. So here are mine. To all who give me the courtesy of reading my 'shtuyot', I take this occasion to wish you all the best in this New Year. We need and pray for Good Health and Peace. When that is taken care of we can move on to wishes for prosperity and happiness and Nachat.

5767 was a good year for yours truly. Each of you has done your small part to enhance my life this past year, and I thank you all. I look forward to your friendship, support and love (only where applicable) in 5768.

Gmar Chatima Tova

People watching

Here I am in NY, the Big Apple and went down to Starbucks to jump start my day. I took a window seat on Broadway @ 75th street, and all of a sudden I realized that right here, more that 50 years ago I sat with my parents having breakfast in a restaurant call Starks. We stayed in the Beacon Hotel which is still right there on B'way on the other side of 75th.

Although I brought a book along, people watching is far more interesting. The flow of people into Starbucks was relentless. In the hour I sat there were always at least 3 people in line. From my vantage point I studied the passing crowds, and, yes, there were crowds. I always pick out certain types and try to figure out what they are all about. This being Labour Day, the dress was casual to very casual, but I invariably imagined that the guy in flip flops, baggy shorts and tank top would tomorrow put on a well pressed formal shirt, neat slacks and perhaps even a tie. The women in very short shorts, or very tight jeans, would they also put on a straight laced business look for the work week.

And how many of them were dog walkers? probably more than half. It also struck me that for every woman I saw with child there were as many as 4 dads with 1, 2 or even 3 kids. Was this proof of the dominant single parent families in contemporary society, and was holday Monday Dad's turn with the kids. This thought really saddened me.

New York........This is an amazing city. You can feel its energy. I love to experience it, but at the end of the day, let me go home.

New Beginning (or not?)

The sombre backdrop to my writing is public television's 2 hour history of Islamic history in Spain and the occasional peaceful coexistence between Islam, Christianity and Judaism. Truly remarkable with today's frame of reference. Truly remarkable to see the sophistication of a luxurious Islamic lifestyle in Granada; a lifestyle that Christians and Jews in Christian Spain sought to replicate by importing the Islamic expertise from Granada.

Far be it from me to discuss or analyze this history, but how did the centuries since that golden period in Spain evolve - from the Inquisition to the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, and on through the many years to the end of the 2nd millenium and the violent conflicts we have today.

Perhaps we really know part of the answer, so the better question may be: Could events have been controlled so that the 21st century, that we are now living, could have been different

I really will have to stay away from Public Television, I dont like this kind of provocative programming. I much prefer the Tuscan cooking of David Rocco and his co-chefs on the Food Network. I have to strive for an appropriate balance. 'Nuff said

Now u see me

I have added my photo. Here I am with my crowning white glory. I am fond of saying that I honestly earned (as opposed to stealing) every single one of my gray hairs - which is why I would never hide it. It is hard to imagine living life for 65+ years, raising a family, running a home and household for many years, enjoying relative success in business and reaching retirement, without turning gray. And believe me if I tell you: it is not just an age thing

My house guests are still in house, but not in my house. I followed my kids to their next stop: Toronto. I have very limited responsibilities here. I do have to behave myself, and diapering is optional, but pleasurable. Since it isnt My Coffee or My Newspaper, nothing seems quite so pressing in the morning. I can almost be sociable.

We are into the second half of Aug so looking toward the fall, conversation turns to the chagim and the inevitable menu planning for many consecutive festive meals.

Do you know that much of the preparation I did in May and June for the summer invasion remains untouched in the freezer. I told you about the great leftovers, but menu planning with the girls, reached new heights. In the week before departure there were still 6 weeks worth of planned menus to execute (I just dont know if we were really expected to eat them as well). My freezer is ready for the Chagim, I can turn my attention to some of the many other pursuits that entice me.

I guess the serious blog will have to wait another little while.

peace and quiet-I survived the summer of '07

It doesnt get any better than this. I can bellyache "b'li sof", but you all know the truth. The summer, so far was amazing.

Isnt it great? the appreciation of what was until now - the full house; lots of work; lots of shopping; lots of noise and lots of tripping over the Fisher Price people that spill out of the school bus as it was noisily yanked and jerked around my home.

Yesterday there was silence, the toys were collected, I didnt have to do anything at all if that is what I wanted. And I didnt turn into a maudlin empty nester, bemoaning my lonely existence. This too is great. Everything fell into its familiar rhythm very quickly.

The truth is I cant believe I was actually anxious about the summer, as I anticipated the house guests.

And then the new baby arrived and more guests wanted in on the Simcha of naming a baby girl. My heart was filled with joy and pleasure and Nachat. We missed you and your family, Ellen. Yaffa would surely have said: dont worry, Mom, there's room, it'll be OK. But you had already gone home and it wasnt to be.

For the next posting, it will be time to get serious. I will dig deep and come up with something.

My turn to party

After 5 long weeks of non stop house guests, it is almost my turn to party, or veg, depending on how I feel when I get back from the airport Sunday morning.

Picture it: I am a little old lady living alone in a condo and in the last five weeks my space has been variously invaded by anwhere between 5 and 10 house guests. Need I say more? You completely lose control. No square inch of space is your own.

My daily newspapers are massacred before I see them, and the baby's 'pooie' diapers beg my attention..........and this is often even before I have my morning coffee. The Mother is off running and father, well he'd rather just not do it, or maybe he is running too. Then it is baby's breakfast, and on and on. It just never stopped.

The daily menus were planned way in advanced and required multiple google searches for best recipes, not to mention the renown "Fine Cooking" magazine' recipes that must be followed to the letter. There was home made fettucine and lasagna, gnocchi twice. Can you believe we actually found a YouTube video on how to make it. At least the freezer will be well stocked with yummy leftovers.

Next up I'll tell you about the denouement, and report on my survival.