A Lesson Learned

Whilst in Jerusalem, I was privileged to attend an hazkarah for my friend Anita.

Just a year ago she succumbed to her illness; she was much too young; she was just beginning to enjoy the wonders of an extended family, which was now including her ‘new’ daughters (in-law) and loving granchildren.

I write this because I was so moved by everyone’s recollections of this extraordinary lady. In a truly quiet and modest way she touched so many. In her professional life, I understand she was remarkable, but I came to know her as a caring friend.

I learned from Anita, and this was reinforced at the hazkarah: No matter how great your personal burden, there is always the capacity to give. I was on the receiving end. At the time when Anita was already in poor health, when she could, easily, have thought only of herself, she gave. She visited me in hospital and at home. She called and she emailed.

I have blogged before about the incredible support I received in my time of need. Now as I think back to those dark days, I remember the joy I felt with each gesture of support and friendship. At the time, several friends, including Anita, had their own troubles, and their gifts of support took on extra meaning.

I, therefore, resolve to do better; to call; to visit; to email and to support, even when it may be difficult - IY”H. I hope I have the ability to do this.

GGM

My blog seems to be taking on the characteristics of recording life cycle events. Yes, I have reached the next stage. Last year you read about the engagement and the wedding, now it is a birth - my first great grandchild. A baby boy, born in Toronto of April 9. The very same day his grandfather put in his appearance, 40++ years ago.

I remember it well, but in that year, I had just put away the very last remnant of the Pesach set up. I had procrastinated a few days, but on that Thursday I decided, it had to be done. Sure enough, that night my first son (second child) put in his appearance.

Like his grandfather, this new baby has shown early intelligence. He understood that it would be better to show up early, a few days would be OK, than to push his way into this world on Erev Pesach or during a Seder. My mother, also a spring baby – we were told that she waited, and was born after all the Pesach preparations were ready, just before the Seder, or was it just after? This goes to show, that whenever a new baby is born, before, during, or after, you can spin the event into what it really is: A true blessing! A joyous event!

I have been blessed twice in these last few weeks. Savta13 should have been been rebranded as Savta 15. (But you cant just foist a new brand on your adoring public – imagine if Coca Cola decided to become “‘Delishy’ Drinky” – but I digress!)

My 14^th grand child, a boy, arrived in Jan 2009 and now I am at 15. It is Avi, my youngest, who has added these last two to my line up. Born in Israel, Hallel Ziona, number fifteen, came onto the scene just 4 weeks ago. But Savta 13 it will remain.

I am blessed!

A wonderful family festival is upon us, so look around the table and make mental notes of all your blessings. Put it in your memory bank to draw on, in stressful times. Chag Kascher veSameach to all friends & family. Very Happy Holiday to all.

Let’s blog

Those of you who are polite and respectful are asking when I will be writing again. Thought I’d do it before now, but seems I have been so wrapped in myself, and just d i d n ’ t . . . . . . . w a n t . . . . . . . .t o. . . . . . . s h a r e. . . . . . . . . ANYTHING!

Sooner or later you come to realize that this may well be cathartic, almost like paying a therapist $100.- an hour, and just keeping the money for myself. So I guess I owe myself a couple of hours of therapy, so here goes.

There was the wedding in March, dear Ita married her intended, a really sweet guy, Aaron. It was hard keeping up with them during those first 6 months. He was finishing somethin’ or another, and so was she. There was a rapid run to live in NY for a couple of months, back to Toronto. Now I know clearly where they are: right here in Jerusalem, a local call from where I am.

Summer was quiet, except for the double whammy from the Avi household. ALIYAH. Carrie stunned me in the spring when she did the ‘virage’ (look it up, it’s French), actually more than that, a complete U turn: NO I absolutely wouldn’t think of Aliyah. . . . . . . and then last winter it turned into definitive thinking: YES I want to live in Israel; and then ACTION. WOW! They are in Israel. Surely, this has to qualify for a double whammy.

Going back to the Chagim, I got this email from Emanuel:

“I had an amazing Yom Kippur w Arye and Leora . . . . . yeshivat hesder Otniel . . . . . . . . not far from Hevron . . . . known to have beautiful davening. . . . . . . The place is rockin . . . . dancing wild in the aisles from kol nidrei until the end which by the way is long, since in the morning it starts at 6:15 am . . . . no break and they finish on time but dance for another half hour . Kind of neo hippie-hasidic type of place; lots of fun; very different Yom Kippur experience. . . . .

Highlight . . . . my nephew, Yedidiya . . . . . . a soldier, came in a few times when he had breaks from patrols to catch a bit of davening . . . his base is Otniel. At the end, after a full day of patrols he comes in on a short break to catch shofar in his full military gear and all 500 kids are singing and dancing l’shana haba beyerushalim and I see my nephew there in his gear –it was a very emotional moment.

You can be proud of him –he did not eat just drank and any free moment was trying to be in shul although he was doing God’s work the whole day in any event.
(BTW,he looks mean in his full gear)”

Emanuel - please excuse my editing.

I was emotional reading this extraordinary description of Emanuel’s experience, and even more so as he described MY grandson, Yedidya, and his remarkable devotion to G-d and country.

I am beginning to understand that blogging is more like writing a diary. Well I never did that in my tween/teen years, so why would now be any different? Since 'blogging' is such a contemporary, still evolving concept, I don't have to accept Webster's definition, and can simply define it to my convenience, right? Blogging: verb - writing when moved or inspired to do so.

Well, I have, again, been touched by my muse, and am compelled to blog again. More accurately, I was touched by a young couple, Ita and Aaron, who went under the Chupah this past Sunday, each escorted separately as singles, and as individuals. After much ceremony and blessing; speaking and singing, they emerged as a married couple: Mr. & Mrs.

That is when the dancing and singing really began.

This was my granddaughter's wedding, Last time I blogged it was her engagement, and now I can tell you about the wedding. It was a wonderful experience. They made a lovely couple, Ita tall and gracious, very pretty; Aaron also tall, handsome and always smiling. I have gotten to know Aaron just a little bit, since first meeting him in January, and I must say, Aaron: I like you.

More about the wedding party. My daughter-in-law looked amazing. Ita's sister was a stunner, in her elegant gown, and hair styled beautifully in a 'half up do' (don't ask, I don't quite get that either). Otherwise, parents, siblings were all dressed to the 'nines', with special mention of the grandmothers, we all put our best foot forward, and looked spectacular - OK, not me, someone else would have to comment on how I looked.

The ballroom was all dressed up, too. I have used up all my superlatives, so not wanting to be repetitive (it is bad form, after all) please, use your imagination. It is a very large hall that shows well, when all done up. The chairs were dressed in 'gowns and bows' and each table had a tall centered standard, low candles, and so on and so forth. There was much white tulle draped about, and many magnificent flower arrangements. Anyone who knows me, will understand that I don't do well in remembering this kind of thing, so I am very proud that I noticed as much as I did. I remembered to focus and make mental notes, I could tell the world; well, at least, those people who read my blog.

And the partying, which started with the bride on the Shabbat before, continues. We are enjoying a week of Sheva Brachot, each one given by varying groups of freinds and family. Monday night 3 of my kids hosted a lovely supper. It like the Shabbat before, was, of course, more relaxed than the wedding, so it was a different kind of enjoyment.

For me, the special pleasure was to have all my kids and their kids together for a lovely long week-end - extraordinary & special.

I think you get the idea. I had a grand time, and am ready for the next.

Wishing all, at this time, a Chag Kasher veSameach

Feelings

It is too soon to be blogging again, but the predictably, unpredictable happened and the itch to blog - - - - well it followed. The happening is the engagement of my first grandchild, Ita.

It is kinda like being kicked up a generation, but not quite;
it is kinda like being rattled into maturity, but not quite;
it is kinda like being violently shaken awake and realizing this is old age, but not quite.

Yes, I am now in a new category, not quite another generation. Maturity? Well I don't really believe in that. If you've read this blog, you know a bit of how I feel about maturity. As for old age - sure I feel some of the 'infirmities of old age'*, some 'weakening of . . . parts'*, much 'slowing of energies'*, but not too much dulling of this 'aggressive mind'*.

Well, what is it really like?

It is a warm glow enveloping me, with an underlying sizzle of excitement. I dont quite know where to put myself. The facts on the ground say I am 'there' ('there' being some advanced stage in life) but I just dont feel it, or I refuse to acknowledge it.

Ita, your new status hasnt changed me, except - I can say it all, pretty much, in just one word: HAPPY!!! - I am happy!!! Your happiness, Ita, is infectious; it vibrates all the way over here in Israel.

Aaron, you must be special. What I hear about you, all sounds just so right. I am glad you found each other, and that you recognized the qualities in each other to make this momentous and joyous decision.

For your comments on yesterdays blog. I am onw looking at the 'allow comments' option, and as I said I welcome your comments

Where is Home? What is Home

Time to go blogging again. This suits me just fine, about 2X a year. Yes I am in Israel - came for 2 months this time. I cut a month off my usual stay, because I'm just a bit concerned about living life so far from 'home'.

"HOME" is such a complex concept. I know I should feel that this is my home. Would that it were so. I think I felt a bit more comfortable here before this last round of illness, but maybe not. The unusually hot weather, we were experiencing, reinforces my intolerance of the heat. Too often, I am the only one in the room who wants the air conditioning. What's wrong with all of them? Why aren't they hot?

The best thing about this country is the people. I do love them.

• Perhaps it takes a particular type of person to prosper here, and it is that type that I am drawn to
• Perhaps it is because so many of the people I meet are far from their families, and they compensate by building really warm strong relationships within their communities here, and I enjoy that warmth and inclusion.
• Perhaps it is my old theory: those who make Aliya are the creme de la creme of the Jewish community, wherever they come from: New York, Chicago, Montreal Melbourne, Johannesbourg, London or Antwerp. They are well educated, accomplished adults, who have brought all of that and their ambitions, entrepreneurial skills and ability to work hard to a country that want and nurtures those talents.

More than any of these qualities they have a devotion to family and community, and it is that devotion that drives them. Many of them had it really good, wherever they came from, but a certain spirituality was lacking (a certain 'je ne sais quoi'), and it seems that Israel has filled that void.

Perhaps I just want more people like that in my life.

And yet I really want whatever it is that I have in Montreal. I can't give it definition, and it certainly isnt rational, but so it is.

This rant certainly hasn't helped me define home, but now that I have shared all this with you, perhaps you'll have some interesting input.