For your comments on yesterdays blog. I am onw looking at the 'allow comments' option, and as I said I welcome your comments

Where is Home? What is Home

Time to go blogging again. This suits me just fine, about 2X a year. Yes I am in Israel - came for 2 months this time. I cut a month off my usual stay, because I'm just a bit concerned about living life so far from 'home'.

"HOME" is such a complex concept. I know I should feel that this is my home. Would that it were so. I think I felt a bit more comfortable here before this last round of illness, but maybe not. The unusually hot weather, we were experiencing, reinforces my intolerance of the heat. Too often, I am the only one in the room who wants the air conditioning. What's wrong with all of them? Why aren't they hot?

The best thing about this country is the people. I do love them.

• Perhaps it takes a particular type of person to prosper here, and it is that type that I am drawn to
• Perhaps it is because so many of the people I meet are far from their families, and they compensate by building really warm strong relationships within their communities here, and I enjoy that warmth and inclusion.
• Perhaps it is my old theory: those who make Aliya are the creme de la creme of the Jewish community, wherever they come from: New York, Chicago, Montreal Melbourne, Johannesbourg, London or Antwerp. They are well educated, accomplished adults, who have brought all of that and their ambitions, entrepreneurial skills and ability to work hard to a country that want and nurtures those talents.

More than any of these qualities they have a devotion to family and community, and it is that devotion that drives them. Many of them had it really good, wherever they came from, but a certain spirituality was lacking (a certain 'je ne sais quoi'), and it seems that Israel has filled that void.

Perhaps I just want more people like that in my life.

And yet I really want whatever it is that I have in Montreal. I can't give it definition, and it certainly isnt rational, but so it is.

This rant certainly hasn't helped me define home, but now that I have shared all this with you, perhaps you'll have some interesting input.

I'm Back and Better Than Ever, Maybe!

It has been more than a year, since my last blog entry. I have a good excuse for most of that time. The trauma started in May, climaxed in August, when 3 female surgeons sliced and diced me for too many hours and pretty much removed all redundant organs from the waist down.

The WISE MEN - yes after the messy stuff, the guys took over - prescribed a dastardly melange of medications, to fix what they could not excise. And here I am today, after all of that and feeling pretty good.

I made it to Israel in the midst of these treatments, where I was hooked up with the local drug dealer who administered a course of the prescribed treatment. It was interesting to compare, and the facilities in Israel were very much on a par with the state of the art Facility here at the JGH.

I was happy to be with family there, but going wasnt the best decision of my life.

This is my second go around with serious illness and extensive treatment at the JGH, and I have to praise the facility. Every aspect of my care was excellent. Whilst at it I must also mention my dear children, and the care and caring they showed me. I am also so lucky to have the best friends - you know who you are. You were there for me, in person, on the phone, and by email. WOW! I am much blessed.

Yes, I lost my hair, and am now watching it grow back slowly, very slowly. You've heard of watching grass grow, well I am watcing hair grow. Same thing. Except for the colour. I am fantasizing about having thick wavy hair, but i dont think it will come to pass

So now I am enjoying some simple down time. I just need to relax and recover at my own slow pace. There is quite a lot of recovery, and it is happening, but I am not pressuring myself to get on a plane to go anywhere. I look forward to driving to Toronto for Pesach.

I write all of this from a very good place: Optimistic and Upbeat. Here, again I am blessed that 'Optimistic and Upbeat' are in my DNA. I have said all along that I am doing the very best I can, and I will continue to do so. I will not accept anything less of myself.

Good wishes to all of you, and is it too early to wish you all a Chag Kascher veSameach?

Sleepless in .........well its not Seattle

. . . . . . . I am not Meg Ryan, and Tom Hanks isnt around.  

What will happen in the morning when 8 o'clock comes and goes, and I still cant crawl out of bed. Sleep is just not meant to be tonight. Am I turning into u no hoo. Sorry only my nearest and dearest will get that  one. 

This is Israel, and I have been here almost a month.  The Emunah Convention came and went.  Perhaps I should have participated in more of it, but I  just  didnt have the stamina.  I must say that those parts I did go to, were really well done and very interesting.  The stand out speakers were Rav Lau, and Rav Benny Lau; Gil Troy never disappoints.  He has such passion for this country. 

It is interesting to me to note how some of the Israel Emunah ladies have evolved in their positions.  Given the opportunity to lead some certainly grew into leadership roles.

Eva and Jane were great company for as long as that lasted, but now I have to get down to the business of serious living.  Got to find a satisfying routine.  

Of course, now it is Chanukah, and again a week's delay in settling into real life.   But one thing I can do tomorrow morning is get up and get out.  My trajectory is straight up the hill for the 20 minute walk to a good cup o' coffee and 20 minutes back.  That is not a bad beginning for this sedentary soul.  We'll see what new excuse tomorrow will bring.  

Respect or the lack of it

A few weeks ago I knew what my next blog entry would be about. At the time, I was just coming home from Toronto and "respect" seemed like a burning issue. And when I say "respect" please read "the lack of it". Rodney Dangerfield built a career on the concept titling his autobiography (in part): A Lifetime of No Respect

I am that mother who thought her kids' friends should call me Mrs., (now, of course, it is Ms.) much to the dismay and embarrassment of some of my kids. This says something about me, doesn't it?

Well it doesnt seem to translate in my day to day existence. Should I spell it out? I am invariably left to introduce myself to my children's friends & guilted into doing so by first name.

I have virtually confessed my age in this blog, so am I not entitled to slow down the pace of my life, without being "damned" as a 95 year old? My baby - OK he's 37 and certainly no baby - is constantly on my case: but Ma you're not 95. Well, what if I figure I have earned the right to act 95 at one time and act 45 or even16 at another time. Surely I have earned that right.

Behaving the appropriate grandmotherly type, is such a drain; so stressful, and definitely no fun. I insist on my right to be cool, play Nintendo; shut the world out with MY IPod; yes and even have a blog of my own. All of this and respect PLEASE.

And it is also my right (truth, be told this comes with the territory and has nothing to do with rights) to forget:

• your name moments after we are introduced;
• 3 of the 4 items on your shopping list (and the shopping list itself)
• that I ALREADY called you back
  

Yes the list goes on and on. Perhaps the right I demand is to be forgiven and not mocked for these frequent 'faux pas', and indeed respect thru it all.

I assert here and now that my behaviour shall in no way impact on the respect due me, as a mother, grandmother, aunt, older cousin or your friend's parent.

Written with love and respect and love (I know I said 'love' 2X)

Shana Tova

To my dear friends, family, and Rachel. Sorry but for more than a week I've had both hands tied behind my back. In '07, that is what happens when you experience computer meltdown (well, maybe not you, but definitely me). Now I only have one hand in restraints, that is because.........Mazal Tov........ I have pristine new white Mac. It is beautiful, but I have no idea how to use it.

Can anyone out there recommend a "dummies" type book that would help me out with the basics?

I have been obsessing about my computer for some weeks now. I certainly didn't realize the extent to which I have been using the laptop as a virtual kitchen accessory. It is an indispensable aid to reading the newspaper. I constantly look up definitions, as I am reading, or jump into Google to locate some piece of info that I need to corroborate or complement what I am reading; not to mention the constant cooking support, but I have already told you about that.

It had been my intention to write, before Rosh Hashana and address this to the bulk of my contact list. Well I am often late, in such things, but it is never too late for good wishes. So here are mine. To all who give me the courtesy of reading my 'shtuyot', I take this occasion to wish you all the best in this New Year. We need and pray for Good Health and Peace. When that is taken care of we can move on to wishes for prosperity and happiness and Nachat.

5767 was a good year for yours truly. Each of you has done your small part to enhance my life this past year, and I thank you all. I look forward to your friendship, support and love (only where applicable) in 5768.

Gmar Chatima Tova

People watching

Here I am in NY, the Big Apple and went down to Starbucks to jump start my day. I took a window seat on Broadway @ 75th street, and all of a sudden I realized that right here, more that 50 years ago I sat with my parents having breakfast in a restaurant call Starks. We stayed in the Beacon Hotel which is still right there on B'way on the other side of 75th.

Although I brought a book along, people watching is far more interesting. The flow of people into Starbucks was relentless. In the hour I sat there were always at least 3 people in line. From my vantage point I studied the passing crowds, and, yes, there were crowds. I always pick out certain types and try to figure out what they are all about. This being Labour Day, the dress was casual to very casual, but I invariably imagined that the guy in flip flops, baggy shorts and tank top would tomorrow put on a well pressed formal shirt, neat slacks and perhaps even a tie. The women in very short shorts, or very tight jeans, would they also put on a straight laced business look for the work week.

And how many of them were dog walkers? probably more than half. It also struck me that for every woman I saw with child there were as many as 4 dads with 1, 2 or even 3 kids. Was this proof of the dominant single parent families in contemporary society, and was holday Monday Dad's turn with the kids. This thought really saddened me.

New York........This is an amazing city. You can feel its energy. I love to experience it, but at the end of the day, let me go home.